Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

People will be like “Nobody cares about your Spotify Wrapped,” and then post a picture of their baby.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Stop bringing shitty Bluetooth speakers on hikes. No one came to the woods to hear you listen to Katy Perry.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Remember when we had to smack the TV cause it wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,598

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

Breaking via Messenger:

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

Making waves on Instagram:

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Dating again after you break up with a long-term partner is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again, except with less health.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Going viral on Reddit:

Just gave my boyfriend an incorrect direction in the car, and he sighed and muttered to himself, “Never assign to malice what can be attributed to incompetence.”

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

Trending via Instagram:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

Funny black and white quotes

Funny black and white quotes bring a splash of humor to life’s simplest contrasts 🖤⚪️ Whether you’re team monochrome or just love clever wordplay, these witty gems brighten your day with a cheeky twist 😄✨ Dive into a world where humor meets classic style, proving that sometimes life’s best moments come in black and white—and a whole lot of laughs! 🎉🖤⚪️

New funny black and white quotes 👇

All funny black and white quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

23 shares on X this month:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

20 shares on Slack this month:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why will Satan torture people in hell for disobeying the same God he disobeyed?

60 shares on Telegram this month:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

I like driving by myself. I just played the same song 36 times.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite color is money.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,475

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Shazam but for random noises outside.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

About to form my very first opinion.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I wish I was a moose. No work, no school, just eating grass and wrecking cars.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

Freshly posted on X:

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

Going viral on Telegram:

Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Wolves should really raise more people.

Making waves on WeChat:

This too shall pass, but what the hell?

Going bananas on Reddit:

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

Spotted on Messenger:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

Just landed via Slack:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

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