Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Not being able to teleport is a huge inconvenience for me.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

If you see me out in public but we haven’t talked since high school, let’s keep it that way.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

New year; new me. Just kidding. I’m already awesome.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,596

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

Spotted on Reddit:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

Seen just now on X:

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

Making waves on X:

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

Making waves on Snapchat:

I think some of you are faking your sarcasms.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

Making waves on Threads:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Some woman is out there right now, pregnant with Leonardo DiCaprio’s next girlfriend.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

Live now on Slack:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

Funny bowel quotes

Funny bowel quotes bring a lighthearted twist to a topic everyone experiences but rarely talks about! 💩😄 Whether you’re looking for a chuckle during a bathroom break or want to share some cheeky humor with friends, these witty lines will have you laughing out loud. 🚽😂 Embrace the silly side of digestion and discover the fun in the unexpected!

New funny bowel quotes 👇

All funny bowel quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on YouTube this month:

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

69 shares on X this month:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

55 shares on Slack this month:

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

Cars should have two horns, one for “excuse me, kind friend,” and another for “curse you and your family for generations.”

60 shares on X this month:

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

36 shares on Telegram this month:

Doing dishes is like fighting a hydra — wash one, and two more appear.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

19 shares on Messenger this month:

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

80 shares on Threads this month:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Toxic girlfriend who goes through her boyfriend’s calculator app and asks why he’s doing the equations he’s doing.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

25 folks are currently checking 👀

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,711

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3 p.m. and sit down the rest of the day.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Thinking of starting a religion around cheese.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Making waves on Messenger:

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Seen just now on Messenger:

It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

Making waves on Snapchat:

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

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