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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

Trending via Facebook:

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

Spotted on WeChat:

Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m glad I have boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

November doesn’t have afternoons. It’s just morning until 2 p.m., then night.

Shared recently on TikTok:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Currently accepting DMs from any man with a sturdy bunker on his property.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

Going bananas on YouTube:

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

Spotted on Twitch:

Imagine if social media closed every day at 6pm like a shop.

Funny classical music quotes

Funny classical music quotes bring a hilarious twist to timeless tunes 🎻😂 Whether you’re a maestro or just love a good laugh, these witty sayings hit all the right notes 🎶🤣 Get ready to giggle through symphonies and chuckle between concertos — because classical music doesn’t always have to be serious! 🎼🎉

New funny classical music quotes 👇

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

1 week ago

cassette, cassette tape, classical, classical music, humor, music, nostalgia, question, tape, time
My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

3 weeks ago

animation, appreciation, cartoons, childhood, classical, classical music, humor, i, jerry, kid, music, music appreciation, pizza, real, sadism, tom, Tom & Jerry, Tom and Jerry, watching
Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

3 weeks ago

cartoon, cartoons, childhood, classical, classical music, contrast, humor, kid, kids, maybe, music, nostalgia, reason, saw, violence

All funny classical music quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Discord this month:

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

31 shares on Instagram this month:

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

74 shares on Discord this month:

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

36 shares on X this month:

I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

Can you imagine being a 7th grade girl and being able to see your crush’s bedroom during Zoom math class.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

42 shares on Discord this month:

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

41 shares on WeChat this month:

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m not a perfectionist. I’m more of a good-enoughist.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The universe clearly isn’t working as it should so someone should turn it off and back on again.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Technology has really helped me waste my time efficiently.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Just waiting for my laundry to be done so I can pop it in the dryer and forget about it again.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer, and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don’t recognize.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,499

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

The amount of family secrets you uncover as you get older is wild.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

I’ve been alive my whole life, and not once have I seen a commercial for Chinese food.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

Going viral on Pinterest:

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

Shared recently on Threads:

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

Trending via Discord:

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

Going bananas on X:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Just landed via X:

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

Breaking via X:

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

Freshly posted on Threads:

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

Just landed via Messenger:

From a very young age, I knew that everyone was wrong and I was right.

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