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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I’m no Hobbit, but I do often walk blindly into some rather dodgy situations.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,642

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

Trending via Telegram:

If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.

Just shared via Messenger:

My DNA came back saying I come from a wide selection of cheeses.

Just shared via X:

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

Just shared via YouTube:

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

Spotted on X:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

Breaking via Telegram:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Just landed via Facebook:

There is too much happening for mid-December. Where are the canceled meetings? Why are we not circling back next year?

Trending via Messenger:

Hiring a mortician to do my makeup while I sleep.

Just shared via WeChat:

This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

Funny couple humor quotes

Funny couple humor quotes bring laughter and love together in the most delightful way 😂💑. Whether it’s poking fun at quirks or celebrating everyday moments, these witty lines keep relationships light and joyful ❤️✨. Perfect for sharing with your favorite person or brightening up your feed, get ready to smile, giggle, and maybe even snort a little! 😆💕 #CoupleGoals #LoveAndLaughter

New funny couple humor quotes 👇

All funny couple humor quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on X this month:

Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.

50 shares on Threads this month:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

77 shares on Threads this month:

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

33 shares on Slack this month:

“Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

97 shares on Slack this month:

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

70 shares on Discord this month:

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

84 shares on X this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

38 shares on Threads this month:

According to autocorrect, my favorite Star Wars character is Bob’s Feet.

19 shares on Threads this month:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My five-year plan is to get back my whimsy, joy, childlike wonder.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,293

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Not photogenic, but I probably look soooo good as a distant memory.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

People never run off to join the circus anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

Trending via WhatsApp:

“Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

Trending via Messenger:

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I would rather lose you than the argument.

Just landed via Threads:

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

Trending via Snapchat:

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

Just landed via Snapchat:

A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.

Live now on Slack:

Unless I ask, I genuinely don’t care to hear other people’s opinions on my life. It’s almost a pet peeve, really.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

Making waves on Slack:

I have feelings for you but you have to guess which ones.

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