Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Source??? Pattern recognition.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,353

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Monetizing Twitter was actually the worst thing to happen to this app. Everybody rage-baiting for 23 cents.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Shared recently on Threads:

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

Trending via X:

I once made a joke to a coworker, and she said, “It was the funniest thing I ever said,” and suggested I post it. It got 10 likes.

Trending via Discord:

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

Freshly posted on X:

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

Funny dating joke quotes

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All funny dating joke quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sometimes I delete a post because I remember I’m too old for it.

63 shares on Facebook this month:

I think every app should, by law, let you deactivate all of its short-form video content.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m a comedian. My pronouns are ha/ha.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

Man, these end times are taking forever.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

25 shares on Messenger this month:

When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!

21 shares on Telegram this month:

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s awesome when people honk at you for not moving when you’re letting people cross. You’re right, bro, I should just annihilate this family of four.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,550

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Have you tried complaining about it?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

Shared recently on Discord:

“I’m getting to an age where I realize I shouldn’t have laughed at my grandparents for having an ‘upstairs’ vacuum.”

Just shared via Telegram:

A designated hitter in baseball is the one who has to hit for everyone in case the team is drunk.

Just shared via TikTok:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

Trending via Pinterest:

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

Spotted on X:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

Seen just now on Threads:

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

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