Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,648

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

Trending via Slack:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

Just shared via YouTube:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

Trending via Discord:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

Breaking via Instagram:

Bugs have so many legs to make up for their lack of personality.

Shared recently on Slack:

I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Just landed via Telegram:

The best part about having a crush is when they crush all your hopes and dreams.

Just shared via Twitch:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Seen just now on X:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

Funny dating joke quotes

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Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

23 shares on YouTube this month:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

12 shares on Slack this month:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re acting up? Right before Santa Claus comes to town? Unbelievable.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve had two glasses of wine and responded with “Omgggg congrats, sweet girl” on an engagement post of someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

We were supposed to have flying cars and other cool stuff, but instead we have AI videos showing Michael Jackson eat at McDonald’s.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,317

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Isn’t it beautiful how ‘Bruh’ has stood the test of time all these years.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Whoever salts the fries at McDonald’s needs to come do the roads.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

Spotted on Instagram:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Trending via Threads:

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

Trending via Snapchat:

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

Just landed via Instagram:

Every ‘c’ in ‘Pacific Ocean’ is pronounced differently.

Just landed via Telegram:

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

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