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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Twitter account so good even HR wants to see it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Jan 7, 2026

3,501

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

Seen just now on Telegram:

“I’m so good at doing nothing. I wish I could get paid for it.”

Live now on Snapchat:

The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

Seen just now on Threads:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

Spotted on Telegram:

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I miss making out in public and making people feel uncomfortable.

Live now on Reddit:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

Funny de quotes

Funny de quotes are the perfect way to sprinkle some humor into your day 😂✨ Whether you need a quick laugh or a clever twist on everyday life, these witty gems will brighten your mood and tickle your funny bone 🤣💡 Get ready to share smiles and spread good vibes with every hilarious line! 🎉😄 #LaughOutLoud #FunnyQuotes

New funny de quotes 👇

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

0

2 months ago

acting, always, comedy, de, expression, facial, facial expression, fart, funny expression, humor, just, looks, nasty, nasty fart, niro, Robert, Robert De Niro

Someone from 🇱🇮 has recently copied this quote.

79 shares on Slack this month.
When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

0

2 months ago

cleverness, critic, de, food, humor, i, nom, nom de plume, plume, pun, restaurant, under, writing

Someone from 🇵🇾 has recently shared this quote.

21 shares on Slack this month.
They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

0

2 months ago

activity, bull, combine, competition, de, event, france, humor, next, running, should, sport, tour, Tour de France, year

Someone from 🇺🇬 has recently copied this quote.

101 shares on Telegram this month.

All funny de quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

Taking off my house pajamas to put on my errands pajamas.

42 shares on Slack this month:

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

63 shares on X this month:

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

77 shares on Discord this month:

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

People in glass houses shouldn’t throw orgies.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I took the road less traveled. Where am I?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,271

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

“In a galaxy far, far away” is starting to sound quite enticing.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

Just landed via Discord:

Women don’t pretend anymore to dig for something in their purse and then pull out their middle finger.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

Live now on Snapchat:

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

Making waves on Facebook:

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

Just landed via Pinterest:

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

Just shared via Facebook:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

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