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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Anyone who says there are no stupid questions is welcome to drop by my office. My colleagues will prove you wrong.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

31 minutes ago

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Just landed via Facebook:

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Spotted on YouTube:

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

Shared recently on Reddit:

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

Seen just now on TikTok:

Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

Seen just now on Reddit:

There’s nothing like the excitement of a brand-new book to add to the massive pile of books I still haven’t read.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

Spotted on Slack:

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

Going viral on Facebook:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

Live now on Facebook:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

Home » Funny De Quotes

Funny de quotes

New funny de quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

Commentary:
"Robert De Niro's facial expressions are so potent, they could clear a room faster than a nasty fart! 💨😆 #StinkFaceMaster"
6 months ago
Share →: When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

Commentary:
"Talk about eating your words! This critic must have taken 'food for thought' to a whole new level with their nom nom nom de plume. 🍔📝 #PunnyPenName"
6 months ago
Share →: They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Commentary:
"Imagine the adrenaline rush of a Bull-dle de France! 🐂🚴‍♂️ Just when you thought the Tour de France couldn't get any more exciting! Get ready to pedal for your life and dodge some horns along the way. Who needs traditional cycling challenges when you can have a wild animal chase instead? 🤣 #BullsOnBikes"

For even more funny de quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny de quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

31 minutes ago

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

The problem with self-checkout is that all the cashiers are idiots.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I feel like waking up early on the weekend is so disrespectful.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Freshly posted on Slack:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

Live now on WeChat:

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Adulting is only fun when you have the funds.

Just landed via WeChat:

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

Breaking via Facebook:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

Trending via WhatsApp:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

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