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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

January is the Monday of the year.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,706

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

Going viral on Telegram:

If Microsoft Edge is brave enough to ask to be your default browser, you can be brave enough to ask that girl out.

Spotted on WeChat:

Every job is either 8 hours of getting exposed to cancer-causing chemicals or 8 hours of staring at a Microsoft Excel sheet.

Going viral on TikTok:

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Shared recently on Discord:

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Tinder, but for nearby people that have a printer you can use.

Spotted on Slack:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Funny detoxification quotes

New funny detoxification quotes 👇

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

0

2 months ago

alone, alone time, anyone, apps, delete, detox, detoxification, digital, digital detox, digital detoxification, girl, happiness, health, isolation, mental, mental health, phone, self-care, solitude, sometimes, speak, time, true, week

Someone from 🇭🇳 has recently shared this quote.

72 shares on WeChat this month.

All funny detoxification quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Messenger this month:

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Awkwardly stares into the abyss in between meetings.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

83 shares on X this month:

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

Stop dating if you have no car.

39 shares on TikTok this month:

Girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go, like feathers falling from an angel’s wings.

83 shares on Threads this month:

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I was going to go for a run, then realized I could just run my mouth on here.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Youngest siblings are literally weaponized incompetence, final boss.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

Shared recently on X:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Just landed via YouTube:

Why hasn’t Lululemon created a bra-line named Lulumelons?

Trending via Pinterest:

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

Making waves on Threads:

Just paid my bills. The only thing left on my card is my name and expiration date.

Going viral on YouTube:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

Trending via Twitch:

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Just shared via Discord:

Currently accepting DMs from any man with a sturdy bunker on his property.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny detoxification quotes

New funny detoxification quotes 👇

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

All funny detoxification quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨