Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,699

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Breaking via Twitch:

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

Seen just now on Threads:

A job interview is basically a conversation between two liars.

Making waves on Twitch:

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Just shared via Reddit:

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Just found out my 84-year-old neighbour is on his own tomorrow, so I’ve just been over to collect his spare chairs to borrow.

Making waves on X:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

Funny douchebag quotes

Funny douchebag quotes are the perfect blend of sass 😎 and laughs 😂 to brighten your day! Whether you’ve encountered one IRL or just love a cheeky comeback, these witty gems will have you rolling 🤣 and shaking your head. Ready to embrace the hilarious side of attitude? Buckle up, it’s about to get entertaining! 🚀✨

New funny douchebag quotes 👇

All funny douchebag quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Do you want to sit on the porch with me until we die or not?

37 shares on Reddit this month:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

39 shares on Instagram this month:

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

68 shares on X this month:

The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

62 shares on Slack this month:

Interpretive dance is the best way to answer stupid questions.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

At my funeral, sit me up so I can see who’s talking to my man.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,685

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Disliking me is valid. I probably confronted you on your poor behavior, while everyone else just accepted it.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The fact Head and Shoulders doesn’t have a body wash called Knees and Toes, is disappointing.

Just shared via Slack:

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

Trending via Pinterest:

“It’s not that deep!” Well, I have a shovel and I enjoy digging for meaning.

Live now on Slack:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Spotted on Facebook:

I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.

Trending via WeChat:

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

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