Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

“I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Having a crush on a girl makes you think things like, yes, let me make more money.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,230

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

Making waves on Slack:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Live now on Discord:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Trending via Snapchat:

Deleting university to focus on Twitter.

Trending via TikTok:

I’m not an early bird or a night owl, I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Just done a HIIT workout and if anyone sees me trying to do that again just go ahead and hiit me in the face.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

Breaking via Messenger:

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

Making waves on Pinterest:

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

Funny employee humor quotes

New funny employee humor quotes 👇

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

0

2 months ago

allowed, customer, customer interaction, customer service, day, employee, employee humor, fight, Fridays, frustration, humor, interaction, management, people, relief, service, should, stress, stress management, stress relief, work, work frustration, workplace

Someone from 🇩🇴 has recently copied this quote.

27 shares on Telegram this month.

All funny employee humor quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Messenger this month:

I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.

29 shares on Threads this month:

“You’re just mad my gut microbiome is way more diverse and complex than yours.”

16 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I tried selling my soul to the devil, and he said no.

10 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

45 shares on Threads this month:

Wanna worship each other until the end of all things?

54 shares on Discord this month:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

All I want for Christmas this year is the housing market to crash, so I could buy a 5-bedroom, 4-bathroom house for $3.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Daniel Craig leaving Bond to become Benoit Blanc is one of the best things to ever happen.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

Live now on Slack:

Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

Live now on Snapchat:

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

Just landed via Discord:

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

Spotted on Threads:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

Just landed via Pinterest:

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny employee humor quotes

New funny employee humor quotes 👇

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

All funny employee humor quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨