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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

3 hours ago

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Going viral on Messenger:

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

Breaking via TikTok:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

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Funny feast quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

3 hours ago

Users Online

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

Spotted on WeChat:

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

Just landed via Reddit:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Seen just now on Reddit:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I will be notified immediately.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

Trending via Facebook:

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

Spotted on Messenger:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

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