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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

In my 20s: Jingle all the way. In my 40s: Jingle til around ten.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Dear Santa, Money!

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Today’s kids don’t even get chicken pox anymore, they go straight to STDs.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Unfortunately, when you don’t burden people with your problems, they assume you don’t have any. Lol.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,628

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

Trending via Twitch:

A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

Making waves on TikTok:

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

Just shared via Instagram:

My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying, “Are you even listening to me?”

Freshly posted on WeChat:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Making waves on Facebook:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.

Making waves on Telegram:

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

Making waves on Slack:

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

Funny flattering quotes

New funny flattering quotes 👇

It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

19 hours ago

attractive, attractiveness, bridge, change, comparison, cool, flattering, friend, humor, image, insecurity, jump, less, me, myself, perception, photo, seeing, self, self-image, want
When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

2 weeks ago

age, ageism, compliments, devastating, flattering, guessing, humor, kids, perception

All funny flattering quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on WeChat this month:

Why does Bruce Wayne, the billionaire, not simply rig Gotham City’s elections in favor of tough-on-crime candidates?

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.

46 shares on Reddit this month:

My favorite part of the Bible is when Jesus says to put a cross emoji and a Bible verse in your bio, and then call people slurs on the internet.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

I am single, please disturb me!

65 shares on Threads this month:

Wait, making the right choices is an option?!

16 shares on Threads this month:

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

Another Netflix price increase? Guess we’re only chilling now.

27 shares on Slack this month:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

73 shares on Discord this month:

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

80 shares on Messenger this month:

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I love people who are fluent in Spongebob references.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Strict parents raise good liars.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

Just shared via Messenger:

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

Just shared via WeChat:

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

Breaking via WeChat:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

Breaking via Pinterest:

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

Going viral on Reddit:

For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person we’re avoiding at the grocery store.

Going viral on Facebook:

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

Just shared via Twitch:

The iPhone alarm is so effective that you wake up before it goes off, so you don’t have to listen to such an unbearable noise.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny flattering quotes

New funny flattering quotes 👇

It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

All funny flattering quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨