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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

In banana years, I am bread.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

At the gym and I forgot my headphones and now I have to listen to my own thoughts. Send help.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

779 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,941

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,941

Updated

21 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The void screams into me.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

Going viral on X:

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

Going viral on Instagram:

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

Spotted on TikTok:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them.

Just landed via Reddit:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

Trending via TikTok:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

779 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,941

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,941

Updated

21 minutes ago

Users Online

3,420

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

“It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Don’t ever let your computer feel that you’re in a hurry, cause they’re gonna slow down more.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

Just because talking is for you doesn’t mean that starting a podcast is.

Breaking via Facebook:

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

Making waves on Messenger:

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

Reported on Threads:

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

Going viral on Slack:

Shout out to myself for ruining my own life.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

Making waves on Telegram:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Trending via Pinterest:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

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