Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

You have a bucket list, I have my head in a bucket, we are not the same.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Ragebaiting each other is flirting, btw.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

Freshly posted on X:

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

Making waves on Telegram:

It’s so unrealistic for me to delete WhatsApp, but man, I’d love to do it.

Going viral on Slack:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Summer body? Folks, I’m cosplaying as a potato that’s seen some things.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

Live now on Pinterest:

Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

Going viral on Messenger:

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

Just shared via Threads:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

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Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on WeChat this month:

I told my daughter to check her attitude, and she responded, “For complaints about attitude, please contact the manufacturer.”

61 shares on TikTok this month:

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

Stop asking people over 40 what we like to do for fun. You’re not gonna like the answer.

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

So apparently problems don’t go away if you ignore them.

90 shares on Threads this month:

This December is not Decembering like the other Decembers Decembered.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

10 shares on Slack this month:

Why will Satan torture people in hell for disobeying the same God he disobeyed?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I may not understand women, but cheeseburgers have never sent me mixed signals, and for that they’ll always have my heart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,734

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

No one has ever believed in me more than this waitress, who brought me buffalo wings and a single wet nap.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Do you mind if I wear my black T-shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Are you gonna meow for me or what, bro?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

Going viral on WeChat:

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Somebody should tell James Cameron the world doesn’t need any more frigging Avatar movies.

Trending via Threads:

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Making waves on Instagram:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Just shared via X:

There should be a tented fingers emoji. For when you’re feeling ruminative.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

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