Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If I don’t reply, assume I opened your message, nodded, and then got distracted.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Making waves on WeChat:

Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.

Just shared via Telegram:

At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

Making waves on TikTok:

Nothing fixes your life the way deactivating Instagram does.

Just shared via Messenger:

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Having a job is crazy. When you’re at home, you feel lonely and want to go to work. When you’re at work, you’re exhausted and just want to go home.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The miracle of DoorDash is that I just pick up my phone, punch a few things into it, and within half an hour I have, at my door, a $52 salad.

Going viral on YouTube:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

Funny guards quotes

Funny guards quotes bring a hilarious twist to the serious world of security 🚨😂 Whether they’re cracking jokes on duty or making light of the toughest situations, these witty words keep spirits high and smiles wide 😄🛡️ Ready to enjoy some clever, laugh-out-loud moments straight from the watchful protectors? Let’s dive into the funniest guard banter that proves even the toughest jobs come with a side of humor! 🎉👮‍♂️

New funny guards quotes 👇

All funny guards quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

71 shares on X this month:

I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

23 shares on X this month:

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

44 shares on Discord this month:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

95 shares on Threads this month:

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone still shut off lights when leaving a room because their parents used to say, “Don’t waste electricity!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,668

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

90% of debugging is just realizing your own stupidity in slow motion.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Scrolling to your birth year is a humiliation ritual.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I keep saying, “It is what it is,” but what even is it?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

I don’t get it when people say they are only a “little” angry, I am either not mad or will kill you.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

It’s not magic, but I bet you are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

Live now on Reddit:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

Going viral on Reddit:

My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Waitress: “Do you have any questions about the menu?” Me: “What kind of font is this?

Live now on Reddit:

Don’t disrespect me and then be the moral compass on how I respond.

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