Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

(Seeing the guy next to me reading a novel) You know, none of that happened, right?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Instead of being constantly irritated by other people’s flaws, I’ve decided to become more self-absorbed.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,687

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I love being a girly girl and going to sleep all moisturized, juicy, and soft. Lip balm on. Layering on scents just to beauty rest.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

Just shared via Discord:

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

Making waves on Discord:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

Just landed via Instagram:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3 p.m. and sit down the rest of the day.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Messenger this month:

Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world.

12 shares on Discord this month:

My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

82 shares on X this month:

It’s so peaceful when you have no interest in other people’s business.

66 shares on X this month:

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,634

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Stop trying to be liked by everybody. You don’t even like everybody.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I need to consult the woods about this.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

Just landed via YouTube:

For Thanksgiving don’t ask me about my life, just pass me the bottle.

Making waves on Facebook:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

Just landed via Reddit:

“I’m tired of being forced to eat microplastics. I’m ready for big plastics now.”

Freshly posted on X:

People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

Making waves on Instagram:

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

Just shared via Instagram:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

Breaking via Pinterest:

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

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