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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

“It gets to a point” is one of my favourite phrases because it literally does get to a point sometimes.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Okay, new plan, I’m going to marry a Kardashian.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1891 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,053

Funny Quotes Topics

14,836

Funny Quotes Images

12,053

Updated

2 seconds ago

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

Just shared via YouTube:

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

Seen just now on Messenger:

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

Live now on WhatsApp:

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Just shared via Facebook:

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Shared recently on X:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Just shared via Slack:

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

Reported on Pinterest:

I feel like we’re all just angry and horny.

Home » Funny Housekeeping Quotes

Funny housekeeping quotes

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All funny housekeeping quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1891 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,053

Funny Quotes Topics

14,836

Funny Quotes Images

12,053

Updated

2 seconds ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

Spotted on Reddit:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Nobody is busier than a woman who isn’t into you.

Just shared via Slack:

I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

Just shared via Messenger:

Driving behind a salt truck on a snowy day is a Midwest police escort.

Trending via Facebook:

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

Just landed via X:

Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

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