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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

They call it a coffin because they’re finally coughing up that inheritance.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

A garlic a day keeps people away.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,732

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

Spreading quickly via X:

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

Just landed via Facebook:

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

Spotted on Instagram:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Trending via YouTube:

“It gets to a point” is one of my favourite phrases because it literally does get to a point sometimes.

Going viral on Twitch:

And for my next trick, I’m going to miss you in a million unspoken ways.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

Making waves on Instagram:

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

Just shared via WeChat:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on WeChat this month:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

48 shares on Slack this month:

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

42 shares on X this month:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

86 shares on Messenger this month:

Not being able to teleport is a huge inconvenience for me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Frankly, I have too many situations and not enough monitors.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Boyfriend hasn’t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesn’t want to connect. He doesn’t want to build.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you know? By replacing your coffee with green tea, you can lose up to 92% of what little joy you still have left in your life.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,416

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes cheese just falls into my cart at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

The younger generation will never know the fear and anxiety of calling your friend’s house, and their parents answer the phone.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

Making waves on Slack:

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

Live now on Telegram:

Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

Going bananas on Twitch:

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

This Monday could have been an email.

Spotted on Instagram:

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

Going bananas on Twitch:

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

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