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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I invoiced my boss two extra hours for the dream I had about work last night. I’m considering that overtime.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,685

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Just shared via Threads:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

Live now on Reddit:

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

Going viral on Messenger:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

Breaking via Facebook:

Every cat is a little celebrity to me.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Can’t believe I didn’t get invited to that party I would have made up an excuse not to go to.

Trending via WeChat:

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

Just shared via Snapchat:

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

Funny humorous thought quotes

New funny humorous thought quotes 👇

What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

4 days ago

big, Big Mac, Big Matt, came, fast, fast food, food, greeting, hello, humor, humor about food, humorous, humorous thought, imagination, mac, Matt, personification, playful, said, thought

All funny humorous thought quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on WeChat this month:

The art of letting whoever think whatever.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

99 shares on Discord this month:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

If you eat well and exercise, you’ll die fit.

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

25 shares on Messenger this month:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

97 shares on Discord this month:

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

People should come with warning labels.

Making waves on Slack:

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you hear the newest slang, and you decide that you don’t care enough to know what it means.

Breaking via Discord:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Live now on Instagram:

They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

Making waves on Messenger:

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Making waves on Reddit:

Straight man stuns they/them by ordering in fluent woke.

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Funny humorous thought quotes

New funny humorous thought quotes 👇

What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

All funny humorous thought quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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