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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

According to autocorrect, my favorite Star Wars character is Bob’s Feet.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,978

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,978

Updated

37 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

There are so many people going to hell. I’m thinking of investing in some property there.

Just shared via X:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

Making waves on Discord:

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

Just landed via Facebook:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

Making waves on WeChat:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,978

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,978

Updated

37 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Called in, “Hey, macarena!” this morning.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

Just shared via Discord:

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

Reported on Instagram:

Talents: eating!

Shared recently on Slack:

If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.

Making waves on Facebook:

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

Trending via Snapchat:

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

Live now on Threads:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

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