Commentary:
"Who says you need a reason to celebrate? 🍷 Make Wednesday feel like the weekend with a cold bottle of wine ready to go! Cheers to turning hump day into cheers day! 🎉 #WineWednesday"
147 Funny keep quotes
They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.
Commentary:
"Imagine a world where your body is like a sneaky ninja, always dodging the calorie count and eluding the bathroom scale 🕺🍔 No more guilt trips for that extra slice of cake! Who do we talk to about making this dream body a reality? 🍰🚫⚖️"
I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.
Commentary:
"Seems like someone's getting serious about monitoring the power players! 🕵️♂️📝 Bet that little notebook is more popular than the guest list at a VIP party! 🤣📓 #JusticeJournal"
I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.
Commentary:
"Who needs a 'Beware of Dog' sign when you can have a 'Beware of Empty Wallet' sign instead? 💸🚫😂 #MoneyMatters"
My boyfriend is mad at me because I keep replying with a fire extinguisher emoji to every girl that comments with a flame emoji on his pictures.
Commentary:
Looks like someone needs to cool off before things heat up! 🔥🧯 Maybe try a water drop emoji instead next time? 💦😄 #FlameRetaliation
There are two types of people: Those who steal food off your plate and those who you keep in your life.
Commentary:
"When it comes to food thieves, keep your friends close and your forks closer! 🍴👀 #SharingIsCaringButNotAlways"
I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.
Commentary:
🍏🍏🍏 "Looks like this person's on a one-way ticket to Appleville – Population: Just Me! 🙅♂️ Who needs personal space when you've got a pocketful of apples, amirite? 🤣🍎 #AnAppleADayKeepsEveryoneAway"
You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”
Commentary:
Oh, the joys of aging – where squinting at tiny instructions becomes a daily workout for the eyes! 👵🔍 Who knew that deciphering minuscule print could become a major challenge in the quest for wisdom and experience? Embrace the magnifying glass, my friend – it's the must-have accessory for the seasoned connoisseur of life's fine print! 🕵️♂️🔍 #AgingGracefully
If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.
Commentary:
"Looks like daylight has been skipping its money-saving tips class! 😄☀️ Don't worry, daylight, we've got your back! ⏰💡 #SunshineProblems"
Halloween is over and most people just keep on being creepy.
Commentary:
Looks like Halloween never really ends for some people 🎃👻 They've got that spooky spirit all year round! Embrace the creepiness or grab some garlic and holy water – your choice! 🧛♂️😂