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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Livin’ la vida vodka!

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Kinda psycho that there’s a clothing brand called “Banana Republic.”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,528

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The only men you can trust is ramen.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

Trending via WeChat:

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

Just landed via Twitch:

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

Going viral on X:

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Trending via Facebook:

“You never reply to messages.” I am just one person, okay? I am understaffed.

Freshly posted on Slack:

December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

Funny lie down quotes

Funny lie down quotes bring a burst of laughter to those cozy moments when all you want is to flop onto the couch 😴✨ Whether you’re mastering the art of relaxation or perfecting the ultimate lazy day vibe, these witty lines celebrate doing nothing like a pro 😆🛋️ Get ready to smile, chuckle, and maybe even justify that extra nap with some playful humor!

New funny lie down quotes 👇

All funny lie down quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Discord this month:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

Passive income? Brothers, I need massive income.

75 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t give up, we must remain silly.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

29 shares on YouTube this month:

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

24 shares on Telegram this month:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

35 shares on Discord this month:

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want to feel really bad about yourself, just start dating.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Wake up, there’s overthinking to be done.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

90% of debugging is just realizing your own stupidity in slow motion.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I don’t want to do things.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,505

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

That boring, introverted life you’re living has probably protected you from a lot of harm and bad experiences.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

A 20% discount sounds great until you realize you can’t afford the other 80%

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

They should invent a way to delete other people’s posts.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

Going viral on Snapchat:

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

Spotted on Instagram:

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

Just shared via Telegram:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

Live now on Pinterest:

I want Al to do my laundry and dishes so that I can do art and writing, not for Al to do my art and writing so that I can do my laundry and dishes.

Seen just now on WeChat:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Breaking via Reddit:

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I want a man who doesn’t annoy me while I’m constantly getting on his nerves. It can’t be that difficult.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Taking Adderall to use the calculator app.

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