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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Social media may have been a mistake.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

Updated

26 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Trending via Slack:

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

Breaking via TikTok:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

Going viral on Telegram:

Cracking the ice cubes out probably feels so good for the ice tray.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Just shared via WeChat:

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

Making waves on WeChat:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

Spotted on Snapchat:

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

Updated

26 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m bored, but not read a book for fun bored.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I bet whenever a pilot drives a car there’s a brief moment of panic like “why isn’t it going up?”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Dogs can’t talk and everyone loves them. Coincidence? I think not.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

Trending via WhatsApp:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

Broadcasted on Reddit:

“Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

Going viral on Threads:

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Trending via Messenger:

I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

Spotted on Telegram:

Tell me I’d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Spotted on Telegram:

I need a long hot meteor shower.

Just landed via Facebook:

The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

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