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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

Spotted on TikTok:

“Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday that’s about to get even worse.

Spotted on TikTok:

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

Live now on TikTok:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I get writer’s block responding to people.

Making waves on Discord:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

Spotted on WeChat:

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

Spotted on X:

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

Just shared via YouTube:

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

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Funny Mexican restaurant quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

Spotted on Slack:

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

Making waves on TikTok:

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

Reported on WhatsApp:

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Live now on Discord:

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

Going viral on Telegram:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

Making waves on Threads:

I was dropped as an adult.

Trending via X:

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

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