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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Ladies, if you receive flowers with no card on them today, they’re from me.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1793 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,955

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,955

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

Making waves on WeChat:

Just looked around and realized it’s everyone’s first time living.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Making waves on X:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

Just shared via Instagram:

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

Trending via Snapchat:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Trending via Instagram:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Spotted on WeChat:

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

Spotted on Reddit:

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

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Funny mind palace quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1793 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,955

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,955

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not exhausted, you’re just awake. Have a nice day.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Shared recently on Slack:

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

Breaking via Messenger:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Thank you for being friends with me. Baffling decision, but thank you.

Spotted on Pinterest:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Just shared via Slack:

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Spreading quickly via X:

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

Spotted on Twitch:

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

Spotted on WeChat:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Seen just now on Slack:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

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