Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Why does everyone force introverts to leave their comfort zone, but no one forces extroverts to shut up for a while?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

My body is a temple. An ancient, creaky temple with questionable plumbing.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Today’s politics make me think we’re living in a movie where the villains actually win.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,656

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

Just landed via Reddit:

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Made my last mortgage payment. Yay! I still owe a lot, I’m just not paying anymore.

Making waves on YouTube:

Ugh, but profoundly.

Live now on Discord:

I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Professor: Most of you won’t pass this course. Me: Cool, so you’re like, real shitty at your job.

Making waves on Telegram:

Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Funny mismatch quotes

New funny mismatch quotes 👇

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

0

2 months ago

$10, dating, expectations, humor, irony, Kafkaesque, literary, mismatch, Orwellian, relationship
Sorry if I seem sad, I got a new long-sleeve shirt for fall, but I haven’t been able to wear it yet because it’s 94°.

0

3 months ago

able, clothing, fall, fashion, frustration, got, heat, hot, hot weather, humor, i, long-sleeve, long-sleeve shirt, mismatch, new, sad, seasonal, seasonal frustration, shirt, sorry, temperature, wear, weather, weather mismatch

All funny mismatch quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

25 shares on WeChat this month:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

91 shares on Slack this month:

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

90 shares on WeChat this month:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

68 shares on Threads this month:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

Just waiting for my laundry to be done so I can pop it in the dryer and forget about it again.

18 shares on Facebook this month:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

34 shares on TikTok this month:

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Went to the gym two days in a row. This is a fitness account now.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

Going viral on Threads:

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

Just shared via TikTok:

The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

Going viral on Instagram:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

Going viral on X:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

Just landed via X:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

Going viral on Threads:

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

Breaking via YouTube:

I would really like to meet this “other candidate” who keeps taking all the jobs I’ve been applying to.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny mismatch quotes

New funny mismatch quotes 👇

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

Sorry if I seem sad, I got a new long-sleeve shirt for fall, but I haven’t been able to wear it yet because it’s 94°.

All funny mismatch quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨