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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Donating blood today to make room for more food.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,377

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

Making waves on Messenger:

I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

Just landed via Threads:

I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

Going viral on Pinterest:

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

Just landed via Twitch:

I would do absolutely anything to get 8 hours of sleep, except for going to bed 8 hours before I need to wake up.

Seen just now on Discord:

I haven’t exaggerated in like a million years.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My fitness goal is to lose two straight jacket sizes.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Mondays have a black belt in psychological warfare.

Funny Mrs. Doubtfire quotes

Funny Mrs. Doubtfire quotes 😂 bring endless laughs and heartwarming moments from the iconic nanny we all love! Whether you’re reminiscing about Robin Williams’ unforgettable antics or just need a pick-me-up, these witty and charming lines are sure to brighten your day 🌟. Get ready to smile, chuckle, and maybe even snort with delight as you dive into some classic movie magic! 🎭✨

New funny Mrs. Doubtfire quotes 👇

All funny Mrs. Doubtfire quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

23 shares on YouTube this month:

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

61 shares on WeChat this month:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

100 shares on Slack this month:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s, where the hair shows up uninvited and looks pissed to be here.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,588

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Breaking via Threads:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

Spotted on WeChat:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Going viral on TikTok:

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

Just landed via Telegram:

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are “thrilled” on LinkedIn.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Live now on Facebook:

Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

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