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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Got a new high score on my bathroom scale.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2054 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,216

Funny Quotes Topics

14,964

Funny Quotes Images

12,216

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

Just shared via X:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

Live now on X:

I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?

Trending via Instagram:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

Shared recently on Facebook:

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

Seen just now on X:

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

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Funny old-fashioned phrase quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2054 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,216

Funny Quotes Topics

14,964

Funny Quotes Images

12,216

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

You’re like if “nope” was a person.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

Just landed via Telegram:

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

Reported on YouTube:

I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.

Broadcasted on Threads:

There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Introverts have fun, too — we just don’t care if you know.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

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