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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

The gap in my resume is because I was trying to reach enlightenment for 5 years.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,981

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Just landed via Telegram:

Every day I ask ChatGPT if it knows where my keys are and if it ever knows the answer, I’m suing everybody.

Going viral on Messenger:

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

Making waves on Threads:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

Seen just now on Facebook:

Like most people my age, I’m 50.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

Home » Funny Personal Well-being Quotes

Funny personal well-being quotes

New funny personal well-being quotes 👇

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

0

3 weeks ago

forget, humor, motivation, optional, orgasm, partner, personal, personal well-being, pleasure, self-care, sexuality, today, well-being

All funny personal well-being quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on X this month:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

44 shares on Messenger this month:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

14 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t care for the term drug mule, why can’t it be a drug unicorn.

28 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m inventing a website for unemployed people called LinkedOut.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

Just shared via Slack:

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

Making waves on Threads:

Taylor Swift’s prenup is about to be longer than any book Travis Kelce has ever read.

Freshly posted on X:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Broadcasted on X:

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

Going viral on Instagram:

I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

Live now on TikTok:

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

Spotted on Facebook:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Funny personal well-being quotes

New funny personal well-being quotes 👇

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

All funny personal well-being quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨