Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,608

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Seen just now on Slack:

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

Just shared via Threads:

Every girl has a dude in her inbox talking to himself.

Live now on Instagram:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

Trending via Slack:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Seen just now on WeChat:

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

Making waves on X:

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

Making waves on Discord:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

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New funny personalized ad quotes 👇

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3 days ago

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All funny personalized ad quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Reddit this month:

We interrupt coverage of one horrible story for breaking news of another horrible story.

28 shares on X this month:

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

29 shares on X this month:

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

46 shares on Threads this month:

Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m attracted to people that no one pays attention to.

29 shares on X this month:

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

Manifesting you in my bed.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Being called ‘my love’ is probably the cutest thing, like yes, that’s me. I’m the one you love. I’m the only one you love. I’m your love. Say it again.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Life is like a penis. Sometimes it’s up, sometimes it’s down. But it’s never hard forever.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

“Stop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

Going viral on Telegram:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Making waves on TikTok:

The funniest thing about 28 Years Later is that the rest of the world just went “Uhm, anyway!” and carried on as normal, while the Brits live in hell.

Spotted on Slack:

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.

Trending via Reddit:

Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Accessories can really boost a woman’s self-confidence. For example, I know I would feel 10x sexier if I carried a sword with me at all times.

Live now on Reddit:

Television is better for you than phone. It is like vaping vs smoking.

Seen just now on Reddit:

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

Breaking via Discord:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny personalized ad quotes

New funny personalized ad quotes 👇

Your soul is out of balance because you have fallen out of touch with your consumer demographic. Pay more attention to your personalized ads, let them flow through you.

All funny personalized ad quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨