Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I love how you get on Twitter, and all your thoughts are already in someone else’s tweet.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Online dating is stupid because scent is such an important factor of attraction.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,491

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Why is nobody questioning the quietness of the cosmos?

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

Trending via Facebook:

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

Just shared via Facebook:

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

Live now on Facebook:

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

Spotted on Threads:

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Funny personalized ad quotes

New funny personalized ad quotes 👇

Your soul is out of balance because you have fallen out of touch with your consumer demographic. Pay more attention to your personalized ads, let them flow through you.

4 weeks ago

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All funny personalized ad quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on X this month:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

Not pretty enough for Instagram, not funny enough for Twitter. Welcome to WhatsApp status.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

85 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in the middle of the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.

95 shares on X this month:

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

Oh, that’s nothing a sudden burst of completely disproportionate rage won’t solve.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

A poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

Just shared via Discord:

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

Seen just now on Facebook:

All women want is to consistently annoy one handsome man forever.

Trending via YouTube:

Livin’ la vida vodka!

Seen just now on Threads:

I become the most financially irresponsible person in the world the second I step into a Japanese stationary store.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

Freshly posted on Discord:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny personalized ad quotes

New funny personalized ad quotes 👇

Your soul is out of balance because you have fallen out of touch with your consumer demographic. Pay more attention to your personalized ads, let them flow through you.

All funny personalized ad quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨