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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Dear everyone. Upset, bored, angry or hungry. I’m here for you. Sincerely, fridge.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I feel like we’re all just angry and horny.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I’m done wasting money this summer, unless you guys want to do something this weekend.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

4,017

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I wish I got hotter every time a man made me mad.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

Freshly posted on X:

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

Shared recently on X:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Going viral on X:

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I could be staring at my hand locking my front door, and I still won’t feel 100% sure my front door was locked.

Seen just now on Discord:

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

Home » Funny Phone Contact Quotes

Funny phone contact quotes

New funny phone contact quotes 👇

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

0

3 months ago

babe, communication, contact, contacts, full, full name, government, government office, humor, i, identity, love, name, never, nickname, office, phone, phone contact, relationship, save, saved, texting

All funny phone contact quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Instagram this month:

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

That moment when you have to restart a song because the conversations in your head got too loud and you missed half the song.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

90 shares on Slack this month:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

52 shares on X this month:

Aside from cocaine, has anyone figured out what that little pocket on your jeans is for?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

When you realize your punishments as a kid (stay home, take a nap, no junk food, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Currently accepting DMs from any man with a sturdy bunker on his property.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

People who think naps are a waste of time obviously don’t understand how naps work.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

McDonald’s is finally promoting good health by making their food unaffordable.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

No matter how busy my Sunday gets, I always manage to set aside time to panic about Monday.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party. Now I’m homeless.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Forever grateful that thought bubbles aren’t a real thing.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

Just landed via Telegram:

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

Spotted on Discord:

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

Making waves on TikTok:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My future husband and I will be stay-at-home parents, and the kids will go to work.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Funny phone contact quotes

New funny phone contact quotes 👇

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

All funny phone contact quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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