Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Self-care is smoking a solo blunt with music.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m actually pretty attractive, if you don’t compare me to anyone, ever.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I need to be more disciplined and stop procrastinating, starting tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Full-time employment will have you making lists of thoughts to think.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,392

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

Trending via Messenger:

The best addition to any essay is, of course, a condescending tone.

Making waves on Instagram:

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

Just shared via Slack:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Just shared via YouTube:

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

Trending via YouTube:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Funny phone contact quotes

New funny phone contact quotes 👇

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

5 hours ago

babe, communication, contact, contacts, full, full name, government, government office, humor, i, identity, love, name, never, nickname, office, phone, phone contact, relationship, save, saved, texting

All funny phone contact quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Instagram this month:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

Tried to pull off a smokey eye, ended up looking like I went three rounds with McGregor.

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.

41 shares on Threads this month:

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

77 shares on X this month:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let’s be positive here.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I’m an ethical hater. My hate towards you is informed, balanced, and deeply nuanced.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Welcome to college, where every single person is smarter than you, except for the three people in your group project.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

If Britain is going to be invaded, can it at least be by the Romans? We desperately need the roads resurfacing.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Going out with 38% battery and no boyfriend.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Checking a selfie only to find there’s a demon in the reflection behind you, and it looks significantly healthier than you.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

There’s a reason you ain’t ever used your phone in a dream.

Going viral on Twitch:

Why is everyone’s main goal to get married and have kids? Like, don’t you guys want to do drugs in foreign countries?

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

Just shared via Threads:

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

Broadcasted on WeChat:

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

Just shared via Threads:

In my 20s: I’m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

Spotted on Snapchat:

You ever wake up from your dreams impressed? Like, damn, that narrative structure was phenomenal.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny phone contact quotes

New funny phone contact quotes 👇

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

All funny phone contact quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨