Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I had too much to think last night.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Praying none of y’all are unwrapping podcast equipment.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Writing ‘thanks.’ instead of ‘thanks!’ so you know I’m mad.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,350

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

Trending via Telegram:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Spotted on YouTube:

Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

Breaking via Threads:

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The only thing I miss all day is my bed.

Trending via Telegram:

Mondays have a black belt in psychological warfare.

Just landed via Instagram:

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

Seen just now on X:

Tested positive for being single af

Shared recently on Instagram:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Trending via X:

Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

Funny polar quotes

Funny polar quotes ❄️🐾 bring a chill dose of laughter to even the frostiest days! Whether you’re dreaming of Arctic adventures or just love a good icy pun, these witty words will warm your heart and tickle your funny bone. Get ready to smile, giggle, and maybe even shiver with delight as you dive into a world where cold meets comedy! 😂🌨️🐧

New funny polar quotes 👇

All funny polar quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Messenger this month:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

14 shares on Discord this month:

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

78 shares on Facebook this month:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

33 shares on Twitch this month:

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

46 shares on Threads this month:

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,573

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I’m not like the other girls. I’m a 37 year old man.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Forever grateful that thought bubbles aren’t a real thing.

Making waves on YouTube:

The only difference between hungry and horny is where you insert the cucumber.

Trending via Pinterest:

I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

My ex thinks I’m with someone else, someone else thinks I’m with my ex, everyone wonders where I am. Here I am. Just enjoying my own life.

Just landed via Facebook:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Just landed via TikTok:

The man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.

Shared recently on WeChat:

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

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