Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Is this simulation from Temu?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

90% of debugging is just realizing your own stupidity in slow motion.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

Going viral on Reddit:

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

Just shared via X:

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

People who don’t have a dishwasher, where do they bang their shins?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Going viral on Threads:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

Funny preheating quotes

Funny preheating quotes are the perfect way to spice up your cooking routine 🔥🍳 Whether you’re impatiently waiting for that oven to warm up or just love a good kitchen chuckle, these witty sayings will have you smiling from prep to plate 😄🍪 Get ready to turn up the heat and the humor in your culinary adventures! 🌟👩‍🍳

New funny preheating quotes 👇

All funny preheating quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Messenger this month:

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

19 shares on Telegram this month:

You can tell a lot about someone based on which Spice Girl they were most attracted to.

86 shares on Threads this month:

I’m at the age where living in the woods and arguing with a raccoon sounds like a peaceful retirement plan.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

37 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

28 shares on Slack this month:

Windmill? Big fan.

98 shares on X this month:

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I realize that being rushed by someone is a form of manipulation.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I may join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing is complicated when you’re simple-minded like me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,690

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Can’t threaten me with screenshots. I’ll get a microphone and say it again.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

What do you call it when everything pisses you off but you’re good at not murdering people?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

One of the main reasons to drink tea is because you can say, ‘Let me put the kettle on,’ and stuff like that.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.

Live now on Snapchat:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

Spotted on Reddit:

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Used to wonder why my parents couldn’t grasp technology, but now, anytime I see something new, I’m like, “I’m not learning that.”

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

Live now on TikTok:

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Spotted on WeChat:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

Trending via Discord:

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

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