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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2387 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,549

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,549

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,463

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

These cannot be the same knees that used to get low in heels at the club.

Just shared via Threads:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Spotted on Messenger:

People don’t realize how hard you ride for them until you park.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

Just landed via Snapchat:

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

Just landed via WeChat:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Spotted on Threads:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Live now on Reddit:

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

Shared recently on Threads:

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2387 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,549

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,549

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

Seen just now on X:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

Making waves on Reddit:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Live now on X:

You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Shout out to everyone who cooks at 180°C for 20 minutes, no matter what the instructions say.

Just landed via WeChat:

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

Shared recently on Telegram:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

Just landed via Telegram:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

Making waves on Discord:

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

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