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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

No, I love darkness at 5pm and the death of a nation.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

I don’t get it when people say they are only a “little” angry, I am either not mad or will kill you.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

809 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,971

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,971

Updated

56 minutes ago

Users Online

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

Trending via Snapchat:

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

Spreading quickly via X:

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Making waves on Slack:

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

Freshly posted on Threads:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

809 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,971

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,971

Updated

56 minutes ago

Users Online

3,451

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

In banana years, I am bread.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Starting is the hardest part. Unless it’s eating chocolate. Then stopping is the hardest part.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Pleasing everyone, that’s impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

Going viral on Threads:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Spotted on Twitch:

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Live now on Pinterest:

My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

Just landed via YouTube:

Your favorite little ball of silliness has logged in.

Breaking via Twitch:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Just shared via X:

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

Just shared via TikTok:

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

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