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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

The only men you can trust is ramen.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

It was the kind of movie that kept you on the edge of your seat, waiting for something interesting to happen.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

One interesting thing I learned in my thirties is that you can leave a bar before it closes.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can get sleep paralysis.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,520

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I totally understand those uncles and aunts who don’t attend gatherings.

Going bananas on X:

I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

Making waves on WeChat:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

Just landed via Twitch:

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

Funny read later quotes

New funny read later quotes 👇

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

1 month ago

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All funny read later quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Messenger this month:

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

screenshotting people’s close friends and posting it directly to my own story.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

36 shares on Threads this month:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

43 shares on Threads this month:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

We used to burn CDs like we were running an underground record label.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

The lioness does not concern herself with the pile of clothes she moves between bed and chair every day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

One day you’ll find someone who’s obsessed with you. It’ll probably be a demon but that’s what it is.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden, they got McDonald’s money now.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I’m the ick in fantastic.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is going to be OK.

Going viral on Threads:

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

Just shared via Instagram:

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

Just landed via Facebook:

It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

“Is there anything else I can assist you with today?” No, just that one thing you couldn’t assist me with, thanks.

Just shared via Messenger:

Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

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Funny read later quotes

New funny read later quotes 👇

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

All funny read later quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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