Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Oh, Amazon, no. Please do not tell me how many packages I had delivered this year; that is none of my business.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

Just landed via Messenger:

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

Just landed via TikTok:

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

Live now on Facebook:

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Just landed via WeChat:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

Seen just now on Reddit:

About to form my very first opinion.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

Funny reception quotes

Funny reception quotes bring laughter and lighthearted vibes to any celebration 🎉😂 Whether you’re toasting the happy couple or breaking the ice with guests, these witty lines add sparkle and smiles ✨🥂 Get ready to sprinkle some humor and make memories that’ll have everyone chuckling long after the party ends! 🎊😄

New funny reception quotes 👇

All funny reception quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Discord this month:

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

Good morning to the wind beneath my wings only.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

29 shares on Slack this month:

Did you know if you hold your ear up to a stranger’s leg, you can actually hear them say, ‘What the hell are you doing?’

40 shares on X this month:

My wife almost fell down the stairs today and that got us into a heated argument whether my gasp was out of concern or excitement.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

15 shares on Facebook this month:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Alexa, play everyone that played me.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Alexa, mute my children.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,672

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

I enjoy long, romantic walks … to the departure gate.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

Going viral on X:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Spotted on Discord:

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

Live now on X:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

Spotted on X:

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

Shared recently on TikTok:

They should invent a brain that doesn’t whisper bad things to you.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

Trending via Threads:

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

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