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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Screw you guys, I’m gonna go make friends with the crows.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Sometimes I use big words I don’t always fully understand, in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

My default setting is sexual energy.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,824

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

Shared recently on Discord:

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

Just shared via Reddit:

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

Going viral on Telegram:

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

Going viral on Slack:

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

Going viral on Facebook:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Seen just now on Discord:

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

Home » Funny Repairs Quotes

Funny repairs quotes

Funny repairs quotes 🛠️😄 bring a hilarious twist to those everyday fix-it moments! Whether you’re battling squeaky doors or stubborn gadgets, a little humor goes a long way to lighten the mood. Get ready to laugh through the chaos of DIY disasters and epic tool fails—because sometimes, the best repair is just a good chuckle! 😂🔧 #FixItFun #RepairHumor

New funny repairs quotes 👇

All funny repairs quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

21 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

23 shares on Slack this month:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

37 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

49 shares on YouTube this month:

As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn’t work out.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not an idiot anymore, universe, please stop with the lessons.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The people who are $30 trillion in debt are giving you a credit score.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,045

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

“AI is coming for your jobs”. I’d like to see AI show up drunk on Fridays and sexually harass my coworkers.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

All I think about is death and sex.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Sorry, my bedroom looks like a child with a credit card decorated it. Do you still want to bone?

Just landed via Messenger:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

Trending via LinkedIn:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Making waves on Slack:

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.

Just landed via Messenger:

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

Shared recently on WeChat:

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

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