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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1852 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,014

Funny Quotes Topics

14,811

Funny Quotes Images

12,014

Updated

37 seconds ago

Users Online

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

I don’t need to learn something new, I need to remember something old, like why did I come into this room?

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Just shared via Twitch:

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

Shared recently on X:

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

Shared recently on Discord:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Spotted on Facebook:

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

Spotted on Reddit:

If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1852 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,014

Funny Quotes Topics

14,811

Funny Quotes Images

12,014

Updated

37 seconds ago

Users Online

3,453

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

Making waves on Threads:

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

Live now on YouTube:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

Live now on Pinterest:

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

Reported on Twitch:

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

Shared recently on Discord:

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

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