Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

They should invent a grocery store that’s just for me and no one else.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

It’s like 10,000 lies when all you need is the files.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Spotted on Twitch:

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

Just shared via Threads:

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

Just landed via Slack:

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

Live now on Messenger:

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

Breaking via Facebook:

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

Funny ruins quotes

Funny ruins quotes bring a hilarious twist to ancient wreckage and crumbled castles 🏰😂 Whether you’re a history buff or just love a good laugh at time’s messy aftermath ⏳💥, these witty lines turn old stones into pure comedy gold 💎🤣. Perfect for brightening up your day or adding some humor to your travel snaps 📸✨, get ready to see ruins like never before—with a big smile! 😄🎉

New funny ruins quotes 👇

All funny ruins quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on X this month:

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you hear the newest slang, and you decide that you don’t care enough to know what it means.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

55 shares on Threads this month:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

18 shares on Twitch this month:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re crazy.” God forbid I keep my family traits alive.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,409

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Cheating before AI required a level of effort that you ended up learning something by default.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

America’s national anthem should be changed to Welcome to the Jungle.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I’m at the age where I can remember things that never happened.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

Just landed via Slack:

My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.

Spotted on Twitch:

No one trashes your name better than the person who is terrified that you are going to tell people the truth.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

Going viral on Threads:

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

Breaking via WeChat:

“I’m asking Santa to bring some of you a sense of humor for Christmas.”

Going viral on Instagram:

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Spotted on Reddit:

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

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