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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I’ve disappointed better people.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

A relationship is like a shark, it looks better on TV.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

44 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Discord:

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Making waves on TikTok:

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

Making waves on YouTube:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

Making waves on WeChat:

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Responding to any and all emails with ‘wow ok’

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

Spotted on Telegram:

Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

Just shared via Threads:

I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

44 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

That one British friend that’s too bloke.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

“Are you single?” No, I’m in a hallucinationship.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Toilets are not a crime scene, traces may be removed!

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I love when women move on. It’s my favourite genre.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

Just landed via TikTok:

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

Just landed via WeChat:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

Trending via Reddit:

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

Just shared via Instagram:

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

Making waves on WeChat:

If reports from this daisy are accurate, she loves me not.

Trending via YouTube:

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

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