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2 months ago
Share →: Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

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"😂 Who knew physics could perfectly describe your Friday mood? 🚀🕳️ #EternalSnack"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

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You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Going viral on YouTube:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

Live now on Messenger:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Just shared via X:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Spotted on WeChat:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Just shared via Slack:

One of the weirdest things about being an adult is having a favorite stove top burner. No one ever talks about it, but y’all know it’s true.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

Just landed via Threads:

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

Spotted on YouTube:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

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Funny science joke quotes

New funny science joke quotes 👇

For even more funny science joke quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny science joke quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

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