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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I hate when I’m typing away, expecting autocorrect to have my back, and I look down and just see awjdbdmkskan.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

Updated

20 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Why don’t straight men and lesbians hang out like straight women and gays do?

Just shared via Twitch:

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

Live now on Instagram:

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

Just landed via YouTube:

You’re really hot. Wanna share microplastics?

Spotted on Facebook:

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

Just shared via YouTube:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

Updated

20 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

Shared recently on Threads:

Confuse a restaurant manager today by telling her how good the service was.

Live now on Reddit:

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

Reported on WhatsApp:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

Making waves on WeChat:

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

Breaking via Facebook:

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Making waves on Reddit:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

Seen just now on X:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

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