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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

Updated

5 hours ago

Users Online

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

Making waves on Twitch:

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

Breaking via Instagram:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Shared recently on Slack:

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Going viral on Telegram:

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Breaking via LinkedIn:

An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.

Just shared via Instagram:

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

Making waves on Twitch:

Sorry, I’m late. I got caught up at home being happy.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

Updated

5 hours ago

Users Online

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

Seen just now on Reddit:

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

Reported on TikTok:

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

Breaking via Slack:

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

Just shared via Facebook:

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

Just landed via Discord:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Just shared via TikTok:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

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