Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

Updated

57 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My phone went from fully charged to 10% while I was sleeping, so I guess it leads a more exciting nightlife than I do.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’ve disappointed better people.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

Trending via Threads:

The Frankfurt School?? What are you majoring in, hot dog?

Reported on Pinterest:

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

Going viral on Telegram:

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

Just landed via Threads:

I can’t really explain it but cereal at night tastes better than cereal in the morning.

Home » Funny Signed In Quotes

Funny signed in quotes

New funny signed in quotes 👇

For even more funny signed in quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny signed in quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

Updated

57 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Life begins when you can afford it.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

Spotted on WeChat:

My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

Just shared via Slack:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

Just shared via TikTok:

My favorite 90s skill: Uninstalling my car stereo and hiding it in my glove box in under 15 seconds.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

Making waves on Facebook:

The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴