Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Billionaires didn’t get rich by working harder. They got rich by making sure you work harder, get paid less, and spend more.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,344

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

Just shared via TikTok:

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

Trending via YouTube:

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

Shared recently on Facebook:

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

Making waves on Telegram:

Tried Adderall to help my productivity but now I’m just intensely aware of all the things I should be doing.

Trending via Instagram:

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

Trending via Messenger:

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

Just shared via X:

Responding to any and all emails with ‘wow ok’

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

Making waves on Messenger:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Funny sit still quotes

Funny sit still quotes bring a burst of laughter to those moments when staying put feels impossible 🪑😂 Whether you’re wriggling in a meeting or watching a restless toddler, these witty lines capture the struggle perfectly! 🐒✨ Ready to giggle and embrace the art of not sitting still? Let’s dive into some hilarious takes that make fidgeting feel totally relatable! 🎉🤣

New funny sit still quotes 👇

All funny sit still quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Slack this month:

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

100 shares on X this month:

Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

When a man gets married he has a moral obligation to scare his wife when he sneezes.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

I have this ability where I can look at someone’s profile picture and determine whether they are evil or not.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

33 shares on Discord this month:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,266

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I wonder if BBQ thinks about me too.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Live now on TikTok:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Spotted on Facebook:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Today, I want to talk about how people’s houses smell funny, but mine doesn’t.

Trending via Reddit:

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

Just shared via Reddit:

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Worst thing about cutting off all your hair is you go to work and everyone treats you like Today’s Special Boy.

Trending via X:

I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

Trending via Slack:

As soon as the sun comes back out, I want a beer. It’s science.

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