Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

They should make a biopic of just some random guy.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Awkwardly stares into the abyss in between meetings.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,644

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

Going viral on Facebook:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

Going viral on Telegram:

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

Going viral on X:

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Is there a word for FOMO but it’s already happened and you didn’t know about it when it was happening?

Trending via X:

Whenever I go down the stairs next to an escalator, I always move faster than the escalator to prove to the people I made the better decision.

Going viral on Discord:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

Seen just now on Discord:

You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

Funny smart phone quotes

Funny smart phone quotes 📱😂 bring a hilarious twist to our everyday tech obsession! Whether you’re glued to your screen or dodging endless notifications, these witty lines capture the love-hate relationship we all share with our gadgets. Ready to LOL while scrolling? Get your daily dose of smartphone humor and see why life without these pocket-sized pals is simply unthinkable! 📲🤣 #TechLife #PhoneFun

New funny smart phone quotes 👇

All funny smart phone quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Runners who smoke need to pick a side.

96 shares on X this month:

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey (with the intention of making you forget everyone who came before me).

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part of the Bible is where God says, put a cross emoji in your bio and cheer on the dehumanization of minorities.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

90% of debugging is just realizing your own stupidity in slow motion.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I only trust people who give off unemployable energy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,436

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Everything is about sex except Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about power.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

The homie who’s ultimately just a pawn in your grand scheme.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

Shared recently on Slack:

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

Just landed via Snapchat:

No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

Spotted on Instagram:

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

Trending via Slack:

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

Trending via Instagram:

Can’t, holding a grudge.

Just landed via Threads:

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

Live now on TikTok:

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

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