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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,715

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

Trending via Threads:

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

Trending via Discord:

Being called ‘my love’ is probably the cutest thing, like yes, that’s me. I’m the one you love. I’m the only one you love. I’m your love. Say it again.

Seen just now on Slack:

Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

Just shared via Twitch:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

Trending via Snapchat:

Just drank a big glass of water, and I regret to inform you, they might be right about hydration.

Going bananas on YouTube:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Being completely ignored on Twitter is associated with higher IQ.

Spotted on Discord:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Funny spiritual quotes

Funny spiritual quotes bring a lighthearted twist to deep wisdom 🌟😄, proving that enlightenment doesn’t have to be serious all the time! Whether you’re meditating or just need a good laugh, these playful gems mix spirituality with humor 🧘‍♂️✨. Get ready to smile, reflect, and maybe even snort a little while exploring the lighter side of the soul’s journey! 🌈😂

New funny spiritual quotes 👇

All funny spiritual quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Twitch this month:

I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.

88 shares on WeChat this month:

When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

37 shares on Messenger this month:

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

90 shares on Twitch this month:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

Salt is just angry sugar.

59 shares on Discord this month:

Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You can just comment, “You two look nice,” on a photo of three people. It’s free and legal.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,295

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Can you imagine being a 7th grade girl and being able to see your crush’s bedroom during Zoom math class.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Yeah, sex is cool and all, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Spotted on Discord:

I’m glad I have boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.

Making waves on X:

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

Making waves on YouTube:

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

Shared recently on WeChat:

If by ‘leg day’ you mean a day that we put your legs on my shoulders, then yes, I love leg day.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m not an early bird or a night owl, I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

Shared recently on TikTok:

“What’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

Seen just now on Slack:

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

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