Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

“Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday that’s about to get even worse.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I like listening to podcasts because it’s basically getting to enjoy a conversation without having to participate in it.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,609

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My body is a temple. An ancient, creaky temple with questionable plumbing.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

Going viral on YouTube:

I would prefer not to.

Just landed via Reddit:

One day you’re young and carefree, and the next you have a favorite stove burner.

Live now on Slack:

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

Trending via Facebook:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

Going viral on Pinterest:

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

Funny sports betting quotes

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Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Slack this month:

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

89 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

74 shares on Reddit this month:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

24 shares on X this month:

Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

52 shares on X this month:

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If I worked construction, I would always say, “It’s hammer time,” when I left for work.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

First responders? You mean reply guys?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,293

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Online dating is stupid because scent is such an important factor of attraction.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If consuming too much caffeine causes short-term memory loss, just imagine what consuming too much caffeine can do.

Trending via WhatsApp:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Live now on X:

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

Shared recently on Discord:

No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.

Live now on Telegram:

The adult in the room just addressed the elephant in the room.

Making waves on Reddit:

“Because my hair is not done” is a very valid reason to decline an outing.

Live now on Slack:

In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

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