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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Welcome to Elephant in the Room club, no one talks about it.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Sure, sex is great, but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,672

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

Trending via Messenger:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Going bananas on Messenger:

This entire month could’ve been an email.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Just landed via X:

When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent.

Making waves on Facebook:

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Kim Kardashian wants her ashes to be scattered in the sea after her death. As if there wasn’t enough plastic there already.

Funny stop talking quotes

Funny stop talking quotes are the perfect way to tell someone to zip it without sounding rude 🤐😂 Whether you need a sassy comeback or just want to lighten the mood, these witty gems will have you laughing out loud 🤣🗣️ Ready to master the art of silence with style? Let’s dive into some hilarious and clever lines that say less but mean more! 😜🔥

New funny stop talking quotes 👇

All funny stop talking quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on YouTube this month:

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

54 shares on X this month:

People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

88 shares on Threads this month:

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

59 shares on Facebook this month:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

Lego bricks are classic educational toys. You step on them once and you can do ballet.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

Anyone else smile at old people just to show that you’re one of the good ones.

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

26 shares on TikTok this month:

Sane is boring.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m depressed because there’s not enough cheese in this world to satisfy my hunger for it.”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I love convincing myself iced coffee counts as hydration and self-care.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I have no beef with vegetarians.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,651

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Last night’s dream could have been an email.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

Going bananas on TikTok:

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

Live now on YouTube:

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

Seen just now on Slack:

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Trending via WhatsApp:

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

Just shared via YouTube:

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

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