Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

793 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,955

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,955

Updated

8 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Seen just now on Slack:

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

Going viral on Facebook:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

Live now on Threads:

For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

Just landed via WeChat:

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

Breaking via Threads:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

Just shared via TikTok:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

Just shared via Threads:

Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

Home » Funny Swipe Card Quotes

Funny swipe card quotes

New funny swipe card quotes 👇

For even more funny swipe card quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny swipe card quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

793 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,955

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,955

Updated

8 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care, so it works out.

Just shared via Slack:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

Going viral on Facebook:

I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.

Just shared via Telegram:

My playlist so bipolar. We either in love, depressed, or gang members.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

Just shared via Threads:

I always preferred the English spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you’ve lost control of your vowels.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴