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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

For whom the doom scrolls!

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24. I need more time to be ready for Monday.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

It’s our first time on Earth, so why are you a life coach?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

As a childless adult, it is my duty to embrace hobbies and pastimes that my peers cannot, as they have sacrificed their free time to maintain the population. I must vibe and chill, and do fun things, in their honor.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Time needs a speed limit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,749

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

Going bananas on X:

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

Spotted on WeChat:

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Social media has given everyone a chance to be heard, and it was a gigantic mistake.

Breaking via TikTok:

Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.

Making waves on Discord:

Mike is short for Micycle.

Just shared via Twitch:

“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

Trending via Pinterest:

The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

Spotted on Facebook:

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

Seen just now on Threads:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Funny tossing quotes

Funny tossing quotes bring a hilarious twist to those everyday moments when you’re flipping, throwing, or just letting things fly! 🎉 Whether it’s tossing salad, tossing a ball, or tossing your worries away, these witty lines will have you chuckling and sharing the good vibes. 😂 Ready to lighten the mood and add some humor to your toss game? Let’s dive into the funniest takes on tossing ever! 🎈⚽️

New funny tossing quotes 👇

All funny tossing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Telegram this month:

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

47 shares on Slack this month:

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

23 shares on X this month:

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

21 shares on YouTube this month:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

10 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

69 shares on Facebook this month:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

ASAP (as sapphic as possible).

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,345

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Who decided that skeletons are scary? Because honestly, I’d be more scared if the muscular system suddenly walked into my room.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

That was pointless, we could’ve just stayed strangers.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I wonder whatever happened to the tiny dogs all of those terrible women were carrying around in their purses.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

Going viral on Threads:

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

Making waves on Facebook:

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’m at an age where I don’t have to go anywhere and I still have jet lag.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could donate your own body fat to those who need it more urgently?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Live now on Twitch:

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Spotted on Instagram:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

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