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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

The good news: once you get a PhD, friends and family will refer to you as doctor. The bad news: They will only do it when you’re wrong.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

A pretty girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Don’t give up, we must remain silly.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,669

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

Just shared via Facebook:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Trending via Slack:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Normalize booing in the workplace.

Freshly posted on Slack:

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

Just shared via Facebook:

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Funny Ukrainian quotes

New funny Ukrainian quotes 👇

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

3 weeks ago

better, cheese, colleague, cultural, cultural difference, difference, equivalent, explaining, explanation, free, free cheese, free lunch, humor, i, idiom, lunch, me, mousetrap, much, only, phrase, thing, told, Ukrainian

All funny Ukrainian quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Slack this month:

I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are “thrilled” on LinkedIn.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

99 shares on Slack this month:

Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

My middle finger salutes you.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

IP address? You mean the bathroom?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

Making waves on TikTok:

If you don’t have anything nice to say, sign up for Twitter.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Tell your dog I said woof woof.

Just shared via Slack:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

Trending via Messenger:

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

Spotted on Facebook:

My friends wife threatened to leave him over his Star Wars collectibles and I was like “divorce is strong in this one”.

Live now on WeChat:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Some days you feel like a hotel light. You’re there, but you don’t have enough energy to really do anything.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny Ukrainian quotes

New funny Ukrainian quotes 👇

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

All funny Ukrainian quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨